This question can be tricky if your answer is I don’t or I’ve heard of people who try something like this. How do you find time to think? Not to solve problems or put out fires, but just to think about things both big and small. I know, I know: you’re so busy every day there’s never any time for quiet reflection. Maybe on your next vacation? This is the worst form of self-deception leaders can engage in. If the leader isn’t stepping away from the day-to-day activities in their part of the business to think, who is? Ignoring the need for thinking allows seemingly healthy, active businesses to fail because of the change they never saw coming…until it was too late. Please don’t fall into that trap—it’s awfully hard to get yourself out. Here are six suggestions to help you find time to think. After you’ve practiced them for a while, you can use them, with assurance in your voice, to answer this question.

1. Make an appointment with yourself. This is the least you can do, so before another week goes by, do it! Schedule a thirty-minute, hold-my-calls, can’t-be-changed meeting with yourself and keep it. During these thirty minutes, think. Don’t write, read magazines, or clean your desk. Think. It would be great if you could do it with your office door open. Don’t let people interrupt. Tell them you’re thinking and you’ll get back to them shortly.

2. Take a walk. A short fifteen-to twenty-minute walk at an almost brisk pace will provide a great thinking environment. Since this is a short burst of thinking, why not try it with a question in mind? Not a day-to-day problem, although this works well for that, too, but a general I need to think about that some day issue. Here are some possible topics that fit this technique.

* What’s changing in our environment that we haven’t thought about?

* What new skills will our team need in the next year?

* What barriers exist to our team’s success this quarter?

3. Do your daily exercise routine without distractions. Distractions are a room full of people talking, your favorite morning or evening news show, or the video of last night’s episode of The West Wing. As you work out, let your mind wander and follow where it goes. Thinking is an amazing process that requires relinquishing control and enjoying the journey to insight. Distractionless exercise is a great opportunity to experience it.

4. Listen to Mozart. As I write this, the Mozart at Midnight CD is playing in the background. Read the book The Mozart Effect by Don Campbell for all the research, but take it from me—Mozart helps you think. You can turn flying time into thinking time if you carry earphones and Mozart with you.

5. Engage in a hobby that you enjoy and that requires repetitive movement with your hands. Here are a few I can think of that work: Woodworking. Knitting. Gardening. Painting. Playing an instrument. Golf could work if you did it alone. Hiking, again if you’re alone and if you swing your arms as you go. Ironing. (Please don’t spread this one around.) Any of those strike your fancy? It’s the repetitive nature of the hand movements that seems to trigger creative thinking. If you don’t currently do any of these or anything else that fits the criteria, try one. Don’t worry—when you find the right thing for you, you’ll know immediately.

6. Take a field trip. Go to a museum, an art gallery, or a library. Visit a mall, sit in a competitor’s parking lot, or fly a kite. Do it by yourself or take a colleague. At the end of your excursion ask yourself, What did I see or experience today that taught me something about my work or my life? Don’t push for the answer, but don’t give up too quickly. There’s always something there; you just need to think till you find it.

All of these ideas require two things: the courage to try them and tell others what you’re doing, and paper and pencil to jot down the great thoughts that will surface. Be careful—this thinking stuff can become contagious. I guarantee it.

I’m often hired to do skill-building workshops for frontline employees. The particular skill doesn’t seem to matter; the same question is asked by participants, “Are you doing this program for our managers/leaders?” Usually the answer is no, but I’ve come to believe that their question isn’t grounded in a concern about the skill set of the leadership team. It’s grounded in the concern of many people that their leaders are clueless about what they do on a daily basis. They believe that the people who make decisions that affect their daily lives have no idea what their daily lives are all about.

Let’s face it. Leaders have access to (almost) unlimited support possibilities. They control budgets and assignments. They get the latest technology, the best bathrooms, and preferred parking. Now, don’t get defensive—these statements might not apply to you, but I bet there are people in your organization who believe they’re true. Perception becomes reality, remember? In all fairness, it’s important to say that most people in your organization don’t have the foggiest notion of what you do every day either.

What’s a leader to do? Here’s an idea—and a challenge. (Some of it may seem familiar from the last question, but read carefully. There are some subtle differences.)

Look at your organization chart and identify twelve areas where you haven’t had, or don’t have, much occasion to interact with employees, and make it your plan to spend time with a person in each of those areas each month for the next twelve months. Spend the day with an installer. Listen in with a customer services representative. Make some sales calls, clean bathrooms with a janitor, and review financials with an accountant. Listen to their customer interactions. See your policies and procedures in action and the effect they have on workflow, the quality of work life, and productivity. Experience one of their days. Ask questions to determine how many of your experiences that day are typical. Experience for yourself the needs and concerns of your employees. Get smart about them.

Don’t stop there. Pick another area each month, and invite someone in your organization to spend the day with you. Ask them to shadow you through meetings, phone calls, and lunch. Encourage them to ask questions and answer them honestly. Help them get smart about leadership.

Please consider this question carefully. Asking it means that you take leadership seriously, and it would be dishonest to ask if you neither have the resources nor the intentions to provide the support you’re asking about. But, even if you don’t have a formal program for new leaders, you can still support their efforts. You are their leader, after all.

Support in general is a key aspect of a leader’s job. In fact, supporting others as they work to get their jobs done is the biggest part of a leader’s job. Your supportive actions will take many forms, but they’re all just part of a broader support system for new leaders.

* Leaders provide support when they act as role models. From the superheroes of our youth to the inspiring figures of adulthood, we’ve all craved having someone to show us how to behave. This if I had a pattern I could follow it stems from our earliest way of learning. As very young children we watched the people around us, imitated their behavior, and learned about how the world worked. Leaders can support by serving as role models.

* Leaders provide support when they break barriers for their teams. Leaders aren’t leading when they solve problems for their team. But they aren’t leading either if they distance themselves from their team’s issues. Leaders are right on target when they help a team clarify the problem they’re working on, offer a wider perspective on an issue, provide feedback (when requested) on a particular solution, offer access to resources when implementation is imminent, or take a battle farther up in the organization when something falls outside of the team’s charter. Leaders provide support when they eliminate appropriate barriers.

* Leaders provide support when they listen. Sometimes people need a sounding board for their thoughts and ideas—not a surface that talks back, but a surface that reflects their own thoughts and ideas so the team can see their work from a fresh perspective. People need a surface that asks questions when clarity is needed. Good listening behavior allows a leader to do all these things. Leaders provide support when they listen.

Practice these, and add other supporting behaviors to your leading repertoire. There is probably no more rewarding work for a leader to do than to nurture new leaders. The bonus is that you’ll be a better leader for it.

If you don’t ask this question shortly after you meet a new employee, if you don’t keep silent long enough for them to respond, and if you don’t answer truthfully any questions that they do ask, you’ve lost any chance for them to react positively to your questioning leadership style in the future. More than just providing information, this question is designed to begin the process of establishing trust.

Trust is a leader’s stock-in-trade. Without trust, it is impossible to be a leader. You can be a manager, a boss, a dictator, or a ruler. You can order people to do things, require rules to be followed, inspire behavior from fear, or demand obedience, but you won’t inspire confidence, encourage creativity, or be proud of yourself. You can’t be a leader.

Trust is built and maintained through actions both big and small. Respectfully asking questions and taking appropriate actions based on the answers is one of the ways trust is built between leaders and followers. Demonstrating your willingness to really listen to all the people on your team or in your organization is another. Asking questions that go beyond the expected offers another path to trust. Trust takes time to build, but it can be lost in a minute. As a leader who asks questions, you need to watch out for these trust destroying behaviors:

* Asking a question without listening to the answers

* Expecting followers to take the time to answer your questions without taking the time to answer theirs

* Treating their questions or answers as trivial

* Missing an opportunity to ask the all-important follow-up question

* Not treating answers to questions with confidentiality (unless you’ve asked for permission to share an answer)

If you ever, because of an enormous brain cramp, come close to behaving in one of these ways, apologize at once, apologize repeatedly, apologize publicly (unless, of course, that would betray a confidence and dig the hole you’re in even deeper), and then get to work rebuilding the trust you’ve lost.

Remember, even if the person involved accepts your first apology with a “Don’t worry, it’s not a big thing,” don’t believe him. Smile, nod, and do the trust-building work anyway.

This is a great question for people who find it hard to listen. Your assignment when you ask this question is to watch even more than you listen. Watch people’s faces light up, their bodies relax, and their voices resonate with energy. Don’t stop listening to what they’re saying, but pay special attention to the transformation. The answers will be as varied as the people who give them, but the physical changes will be similar. There is a physical response when people talk about or do something that brings them glee.

That’s why laughter is important in the workplace. Hey, stress is a part of our work life that isn’t going to go away. Hard work, repetitive tasks, and frightening situations all cause stress in the workplace. But not all stress is bad. The things we do for fun are often hard work (ever try to dig out a garden?), repetitive (ever quilt a bedspread?), or scary (bungee jumping, anyone?). But we have fun doing those activities. Understanding that what feels like fun for one person can cause negative stress in another is a valuable lesson. Leaders who learn about the fun profiles of their people can use that information creatively when handing out assignments. You might have people whose eyes sparkle when they talk about their latest work endeavor.

There’s a bonus for listening to the answers to this question. You’ll be amazed at the hidden skills you’ll uncover. There will be stories of confident leadership, technical ingenuity, and amazing creativity. You’ll discover writers, salespeople, and inventors in your midst. One leader I know, after being overwhelmed by the answers he received from asking this question, arranged a special interest fair over a lunch hour. Based on the response to displays people created and the conversations that occurred during the exhibits, the company dedicated a room and developed a series of How To… classes organized and run by a volunteer committee. Their people now come in early and stay late to learn a language, paint a picture, and master spreadsheet development for kid’s sports teams. It’s a fun place to work.

This question marks a change in the focus of our inquiries. Until now the questions have asked people to share the facts and information they know. Fact and information answers are important—in fact, business runs on them. But they don’t tell the whole story. Organizations are filled with people, and people are filled with feelings. Leaders who believe that they can focus their work on the tasks at hand and leave the “soft stuff” to the human resources department shouldn’t really call themselves leaders! If you choose to continue to accept my challenge and focus your attention on the way people feel about working in your organization, the next several questions are the perfect place to start. Remember, the process is simple—ask, listen, and say thanks. Take the risk. I know you can do it.

Remember those questions on intelligence tests that give you a list of words and then ask which word doesn’t belong? Try this one: Enthusiasm, Passion, Excitement, Fun, Work. What is your answer? Hopefully, you came to the conclusion that this was an example of a poorly constructed or trick question. They all go together, don’t they? Or, maybe you’re wearing your Dilbert hat and wonder why anyone would bother to ask such an obvious question. Work has nothing to do with those other words. If that’s your response, shame on you! Think of the energy an organization would have if everyone in it agreed that enthusiasm, passion, excitement, fun, and work were synonyms. What could your organization accomplish if just half your employees believed that? Has it occurred to you that even 15 percent would be an improvement? Are you clueless about how people feel when they enter your doors? Believe me, how your employees feel as they start their workweek provides great insight about how they’ll interact with each other and with your customers. When you decide to start talking about the feelings that fill your workplace, make a commitment to find, support, and showcase the positive ones. Don’t read that to mean you should ignore or dismiss the negative emotions; just don’t make them the center of your action. Look for ways to increase enthusiasm for solving problems, ignite passion for learning, encourage excitement around success, foster fun as a stress reliever, and discourage seeing work as a four-letter word. You’ll be doing your job.

Many organizations develop a list of values—conduct they uphold as their guide for the behavior of all employees. These values are often published and distributed. Too often, these values are thought to be real just because they’ve been put on paper, but they become fiction in practice. Values are too important to exist only on paper— they need to live in an organization’s daily activities.

The challenge successful leaders should give themselves is to use their values as a measurement and evaluation tool. Leaders need to praise and encourage the good behaviors, monitor the difference between actual and desired behaviors, and correct bad behaviors before they become institutionalized. The challenge for most leaders is to maintain an accurate picture of the real state of their workplace. This question can help you do just that. When leaders understand that organizations, like people, have both good and bad habits, there is potential for positive change. Finding the gaps between what gets said and what gets done gives you a place to start. Think about what you would (and have) done when confronted with situations where your stated values have been contradicted. If you say you have respect for people in your values statement, would you fire your top salesperson because they repeatedly berated the clerical staff? If you value creativity, would you decline a job because you couldn’t see any way of adding innovation to the client’s existing processes? If, according to your mission statement, customers come first, would you withhold a bonus for the vice president of customer service when your customer service targets were missed? What about your own bonus? Do you practice what you preach? Believe me, if you don’t live your stated values, there will be gaps between the behavior you want your organization to practice and the behavior I’d observe if I spent time with your people. Finding those gaps should be your priority, unless, of course, you want to revise that value list you so proudly print in your annual report. This question begs for a follow-up. Try this one—How can we get our behavior back on track?—and listen well.

This may be hard for male readers to understand, but when a woman moves, finding a skilled hairdresser is a critical, top-of-the-to-do-list task. When I moved to northern Wisconsin, I asked for recommendations, made appointments with several of those people, and chose one to be my official haircutter. Over the years that she cut and styled my hair, I never had a bad hair day. When I’d mention that I knew someone who was moving into town, or someone who wanted a new look, she’d hand me a card that offered 10 percent off their first visit. I counted. Over the ten years I went to this hairdresser I brought her twelve customers—all of whom visited her at least once a month. (You do the math.)

On the day that I had a hair emergency and she couldn’t fit me into her schedule, I started thinking. How come she was rewarding the new customers I was recruiting for her and I wasn’t getting any reward? Why wasn’t I worthy of even some consideration for an emergency appointment? It was the beginning of the end of our client/hairdresser relationship. (Have you ever noticed how quickly resentment can build?) It didn’t take me very long to find someone else who solved my bad-hair-day situation. The next month, as my possible replacement hairdresser cut my hair, I mentioned it was my birthday that week. “Oh,” she said. “You’re in luck. I give my clients a 50 percent discount on their birthdays.” Guess who has been cutting my hair for the last ten years.

Showing that you’re grateful doesn’t always involve giving something of monetary value. Businesses that express their gratitude do so in many ways. They use their customer’s names—all the time. They keep track of preferences and make suggestions that solve problems. They send cards on days without a holiday attached. They make eye contact and listen. They anticipate. They’re creative. They fall in love with their customers and show it.

How do you reward your clients? Often, in an attempt to build new business, we forget to value the business and clients we already have. Asking how to show gratitude is key to avoiding that trap. Not only will you hear about ways to say thank you, you’ll discover which thank yous are most meaningful for your customers.

This is the flip side of the last question. By asking this question, you’re seeking information that will allow you to compare and contrast your customer’s opinion of you and your competition.

I don’t know any business or organization that doesn’t have competition. I don’t know any business or organization that doesn’t need to know more about their competition. It seems to me that asking your customers about your competition is an obvious place to start learning. Your view of your competition is inherently biased. You have preconceived notions of your superiority of product, your extraordinary customer service response, and your exceptionally speedy customer responsiveness. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be working there, leading a team, right? Having a positive mental image of your organization is good as long as it is tested against your customers’ opinions on a regular basis.

It occurs to me that fear might stop you from asking this question. What if you found out that your competition was really doing a good job? What if your customer confided that they were switching to your competition? Think of it this way: What if your customer was thinking those things and you didn’t know about them? Without the information gained by asking this question, you have no chance to change things for the better. Shouldn’t you be more afraid of that?

You may lead in an organization that is fortunate enough and big enough to have entire departments that measure customer opinions. That doesn’t replace the value of hearing those opinions for yourself. Asking your customers questions about your competition will help you understand the reports that land on your desk in a deeper way. You may lead in a small organization where decisions are more often made by hunch than by research. Your quest to listen to your customers’ opinions of your competition is even more important. This information can provide valuable insights into your customers’ behavior in the future.

Finally, asking a customer this question might spark the awareness that you really care about their opinion. Certainly it will help them understand how much you value them as a customer.

Tip 43: To Meet or Not to Meet—Study the Question.

How many times have you accepted an invitation to a lunch meeting only to realize that you spent an hour and a half on something that could have been done in a 5-minute phone call or a 10-minute memo? The higher you go, the busier you get. And the meetings you attend must count. If you get a reputation for conducting useless meetings, the busiest and best people won’t show up.

If you’re asking to attend someone else’s typically unproductive meetings, defer with one of the following: “Is attendance mandatory?” “I’m unavailable. Is my attendance important enough to change my schedule?” “Could I send a representative?” “Would you mind if I offer my input in writing or by phone?” Others will generally surmise that you expect meeting time to be well spent.

Tip 44: Call a Meeting Only for the Right Reasons.

When you call a meeting, make it significant and be prepared. In a client situation, you may have been working on a deal for months that will either thrive or nosedive on a single meeting. The higher you go in your own organization, the more expectations others have for your abilities to conduct yourself in a meeting–either as a participant or leader. Take things seriously.

Skip the meeting if you have nothing special to discuss, if you don’t need others’ input, if you have already made up your mind about what you plan to do, or if getting others involved would only complicate your plan.

Do call a meeting if you need to present information to a lot of people quickly and you don’t want to write it, if you want input from others on your idea, if you want to gain “buy in” from the team, or if you want to motivate and energize the team about the idea.

So how about the wrong reasons? Meeting as a substitute for work. Rubber-stamping a decision. Complaining. Demonstrating power to make everybody show up. Because joy and misery love company, sorting out true motivations may require some soul-searching.

Tip 45: Set an Agenda.

Some people think that agendas lend too much structure to a meeting, that people can’t be spontaneous, or that the atmosphere will be too formal. Nonsense. That’s like saying if you plan for a vacation by packing the right clothes, arranging for transportation, and deciding on a destination that you can’t relax and be spontaneous along the way.

If you’re leading the meeting, set an agenda. Use active verbs, summarize in a sentence the issue at hand, and let the group know what you expect on each issue–“for discussion only,” “for their information only,” “to collect your data,” or “for decision.” Whether you stay right with the agenda or take a few minutes’ detour, having an agenda will give others a little peace of mind that the meeting is going somewhere.

Tip 46: Start with the Most Important Idea or Issue and Work Backward.

There’s a great temptation to begin with the routine matters–the FYI items. But the all-too-frequent problem is that when you save the most controversial and important item until the last, you run out of time. Maybe a Freudian move?

Tip 47: Own the Setting.

If you plan a clandestine affair, go for a dark bar with soft music. If you want an energized group, go for a well-lit poolside table. If you want an informal chitchat session, try somebody’s office. If you want an equal, on-target exchange, look for a conference table in neutral territory. If you want authority and a no-nonsense atmosphere, schedule the boardroom. If you want to play host-and-guest, provide coffee and snacks in a parlor. Whatever your choice and purpose, if you’re in charge, be comfortable with and “own” the surroundings.

Tip 48: Stay Out in Front if You Intend to Lead.

Nothing frustrates more meeting attendees than having a supposed leader who doesn’t lead. State your role at the beginning and what authority the group will have. Do you intend simply to facilitate a discussion? Will you let them set the process and agenda? Do you intend to tell them how you will discuss each idea and come to a decision–consensus or vote? Do you intend to have the final say or will the group have authority to make the final decision? Are you going to keep the discussion moving or abdicate that responsibility to others randomly? Are you going to be a silent observer on each idea or do you plan to put in your two cents worth? Are you strong enough to stop a feeding frenzy should the stronger people begin to attack the weaker person’s ideas? When the group starts spinning its wheels, be there with a comment such as: “Where do we go from here?” “What’s the solution?” “Which way do you want to do?” “Let’s back up and redefine the problem.”

Tip 49: Encourage Participation from Others—If You Want It.

Some meetings serve only to inform. If that’s your purpose, tell the audience what you’re going to tell them and be done with it. But if your intention is to generate ideas, get feedback, or come to a decision, you may need to take a more active role in encouraging participation.

Try these techniques: Ask for a show of hands on an issue. Toss out an open-ended question and see who takes the ball. Toss out an open-ended question and suggest that you go around the circle and let everyone give his or her views individually. Present your question or issue in writing, give all members a copy, and ask them to jot their responses quickly. Take up the responses and read them to the group for reactions. Invite nonparticipators by name: “Carl, we haven’t heard from you–what do you think?” Finally, you might assign two or three people a devil’s advocate role and ask them to toss out any objections that they can think of.

Participation takes effort, and some people are too preoccupied, uninterested, or tired to contribute without encouragement.

Tip 50: Don’t Set People Up to Refute You.

If you’ve already made a decision and intend simply to present the decision at a meeting, say so. If you still have doubt that your decision or planned course of action is the best, say so. But not like this: “I’ve decided to do X unless someone has a serious objection.” Few will have the chutzpah to speak up. If you want to get feedback whether or not you plan to change your mind, try something like this: “I’ve decided to do X. What do you think the fallout will be from our customers/employees/management?” or “I plan to proceed with Y; what positives and negatives do you think I might have to deal with?”

Tip 51: Discuss Taboo Issues Anonymously.

If you know certain issues are hot topics and politically dangerous to careers, you have to work hard at creating a safe environment. Consider doing an anonymous survey on the issues and simply “reporting the results” for discussion. Or, you can quote anonymous sources from the grapevine. Say: “Someone has expressed the fear that….How do you think we can handle that fear?” “Other people have stated that they don’t intend to…What would make people feel that way? What suggestions do you have for convincing them otherwise?”

Tip 52: Participate; Don’t Pout.

Even if you didn’t want to attend and “you’re there,” be there. Listen to what’s going on rather than fidget with your paperwork, glance at your watch, or roll your eyes. Your body language can speak volumes to those who think the meeting is important and do want your ideas.

Tip 53: Summarize Frequently.

Whether or not you see your official role as the summarizer or leader, if no one takes on that role, do so. To keep the discussion moving on target, somebody had to recap what’s been said and point out the next topic for discussion.

Tip 54: Call for a Process Check Occasionally.

At times, the group process will stall. You’ll be talking in circles, covering the same territory. You’ll hear tempers flare. You’ll feel that people are under personal attack. You’ll notice that you are deciding, undeciding, and redeciding the same issues. Be the one who calls attention to such breakdowns: “We don’t seem to be getting anywhere. Let’s see where we got off track. We had started to brainstorm the Y issue. Does somebody have a more effective suggestion for moving us along?”

Tip 55: Don’t Digress, Ramble, or Sidetrack.

Determine that you’ll not be part of the biggest meeting problem of all. Stay on target. If you can’t remember the issue, jot yourself a note as the group moves from agenda item to item and refer to it often. Not only is the agenda topic important, but also you should keep track of where you are in the process of dealing with each topic. Are you into the overview? The analysis? The idea-generation phase? Suggesting solutions? Testing agreement on the proposed solutions? Don’t be two or three steps behind everyone else.

Tip 56: Omit War Stories.

While they have an audience of admirers, some people fall to the temptation of telling war stories, sharing inside jokes, and recounting wonderful things they once did. Unless time is of no importance to the rest of the group, don’t.

Tip 57: If you Don’t Have Something to Say, Don’t Say It.

Participating doesn’t mean you should necessarily feel obligated to comment on every issue. If someone hands you the baton and you have nothing to contribute, pass it on: “I think everybody has already expressed my views.” “I don’t have an opinion one way or the other.” “I don’t know a thing about the subject and don’t want to confuse the issue.” “Thanks, I’ll pass.” People will love you.

Tip 58: Don’t Set a Pattern of Expressing the “Downside.”

Yes, you will disagree from time to time and make a valuable contribution by expressing that differing viewpoint. But don’t make it a pattern. Offer solutions and encouragement when the others get down, dumb and defeated.

Tip 59: Disagree Without Being Disagreeable.

Never let yourself become a victim of “groupthink,” a condition in which group harmony becomes more important than results. If the purpose of a meeting is to generate ideas and get input, by all means speak up when you disagree. Just don’t be disagreeable. The difference is attitude.

Tip 60: Don’t Invalidate Others’ Feelings.

Examples: “Jim, I don’t know why you’re so punchy about that.” “Jennifer, there’s no reason to get so defensive.” “It’ll be okay, Javier–really, it will.” To say or imply that people don’t have a right to their feelings makes them robots. People do not live by logic alone.

Tip 61: Use Another’s Question As Your Platform.

An excellent way to get a message across without having to hog the floors is to look at someone’s question as a platform–an invitation to speak up. Have your prepared message ready and look for the opportunity to step in when someone raises the appropriate question. You’ll be accomplishing your goals on someone else’s time.

Tip 62: Be Flexible on the Issues.

We’re not talking about flip-flops like the politicians make–whatever the polls support today they “believe” tomorrow. Instead, be open to the facts and flexible in your feedback. The purpose of meetings–most staff meetings anyway–is to exchange ideas. If someone presents facts and sways your opinion, don’t hesitate to change your position. That’s not being wimpy; it’s democratic.

Tip 63: Listen to What’s Going On.

Consider listening to be more than the absence of talking. It takes careful attention. And listening increases in difficulty as the number grows from one person to a group of individuals all competing for airtime. Listen and interpret so that you’re not the one who’s always asking for a repeat of issues already discussed and clarified.

Tip 64: Remain Seated if You Want to Emphasize That You’re Tossing Out Ideas “Off the Cuff.”

Bringing up an idea while seated plays down your forethought and preparation. It conveys that the ideas are spontaneous and relevant to the issue at hand. Your position says that you’re on equal footing with the rest of the group and that you encourage give-and-take. As a result, you’ll probably get feedback, pros and cons, agreement and disagreement.

Tip 65: End With Impact: Don’t Just Fade Away.

If you’re presenting an idea, don’t limp away with a sputter. Don’t simply drop your eyes, tune out with body language, or let others grab the floor and run away with it. Bring the discussion to closure. Summarize your idea, the pros and cons mentioned, any decision made, and suggest the next follow-up step. Also take responsibility for the fate of the entire meeting. Do your part to make it successful. If the meeting is unproductive and disruptive, decide on the corrective action you’ll take next time to change the dynamics.

Tip 66: Don’t Sound Like a Broken Record.

Present your idea and support it. After a fair hearing, if the group nixes it, move on. Bring that discussion to an end and meet the next agenda item head on. Nothing irritates others more than having someone continue to bring up a pet proposal or peeve and whine, whine, whine.

Tip 67: Withhold Your Ideas Until Last if You Want to Encourage Others’ Input.

This strategy makes sense if you’re in a position of power to make the final decision. If you state your views first, your team may lapse into groupthink and let the matter pass without expressing concerns or opposing views. When that’s the case, toss out the issue, minus your opinion, and ask for others’ reactions first. The responses may be more honest.

In any case, don’t announce your decision or plan in such a way that people have to “refute” or “oppose” you to give you feedback. If you want feedback and forewarning of the difficulties, make it easy for people to speak their minds.