Recently, four of us gathered around a table to play cards. Of the four, one knew all the rules, two knew some of the rules, and the fourth thought she’d played the game once in her life. We played a practice hand to give everyone the opportunity to get a feel for the rules, and then we began playing the game for real. Several rounds into the game, our expert played a winning card. We looked at her with blank stares, and she said, “Oh, I guess I forget to tell you about this move.” You can imagine our indignation and the discussion that followed about her winning hand. We’ve all felt that way at one time or another. We wanted to win, we were playing by the rules, and then someone told us that we really didn’t know the whole story. Success wasn’t an illusion; it was just a little different from what we were led to believe. (Just in case you’re wondering, she won the hand but didn’t win the game.)

Success can be a very elusive commodity, especially when you don’t know what success is. One would think that if an organization has a set of values, it would be pretty easy to figure out what the rules of success are. If your values say the customer is number one, you’ll want to consider the customer’s needs and wants in everything you do. If respect for people is high on your organization’s values list, you’ll want to work on relationships as you get your job done. And if your organization lives their stated values, you’ll be right. But not all organizations do what they say.

Leaders have three choices when they want to answer this question. They can review the organization’s values with the questioner and help clarify the specific behaviors that match the stated values. They can apologize that they haven’t done their job as a leader and get to work on a set of values that are meaningful for their situation. Or they can change either their existing values or their behavior if the two don’t currently match. No matter which of these three options fits your situation, you’ve got to get the message out to everyone: “This is how we play the game.” No fair slipping in a rule or two later.